Discover the 7 Keys for Building a Successful Marriage

The Word of God reveals that everything created by God was very good. Have you observed any negative thing or adverse situation in your life or marriage? Have you noticed certain negative habits in your spouse? This is not part of the design of God for you and your marriage. Examine yourself and your relationship in the light of God’s blueprint for marriage.

The origin of all negative and evil things that scatter marriage is Satan. You only need to examine the area he is operating in your marriage to frustrate the plan and purpose of God for your marriage. Then work together with your spouse to lock Satan out of your marriage. This will help you to move in the path of love. Satan cannot operate on the path of love because the power and illumination of love will expose him and you will have a happy family.

7 Keys to Walk on the Path of Love

Key 1: Husband and Wife must operate as Partners: God ordains marriage to be enjoyed by husband and wife and not to be endured. If husband and wife will realise this purpose, they must operate together in everything.

At this juncture, ask yourself, ‘Have I been operating together with my spouse?’ ‘Am I living as if I’m alone?’ ‘When I’m taking a decision, do I consult my spouse for his/her counsel?’ Or do I think I have enough wisdom to take quality decisions? If you are not seeing your spouse as your partner in progress, you are cheating yourself. Just start to plan together with your spouse; you will be surprised of the level your marriage will reach!

Key 2: Accepting Wise Counsels of Your Wife: As a wife, you should think deeply before you offer advice to your husband. Give the advice that can contribute to the growth of your love. In all cases, when you offer advice to your husband, subject it to his approval. Give him enough time to think on what he will do with your advice. On the other hand, as husband, think on the advice of your wife. Accept it if it conforms to the Word of God and its application will strengthen your marriage relationship..

In case your wife’s advice is not acceptable, turn it down with wisdom and love. You need to explain to her the reason(s) for rejecting her advice. Assure her that you will value her future advice.

Key 3: Handling Your Disputes and Disagreement in Love: Before you got married, did you intend to have dispute-free marriage? Now that you are married, are you embarrassed by the disputes and disagreement you’re having? Or do you see your marriage as a failure due to the disputes? This quote by Nancy J. Wasson may change your thought: ‘Lack of fights, disagreements, arguments and dissention is strongly connected to lack of passion and desire most time.’

My counsel to you is that when you have disagreement with your spouse, do not allow a third party (even your children) to know. Do not argue openly before a third party. Withdraw to your bedroom or any secluded place and resolve the issue amicably. Do not allow your argument to degenerate to domestic violence. The golden rule is: Do not allow any dispute between you and your spouse to linger long before it is settled. Lingering disputes generate tension that can result to anarchy in the home.

Key 4: Mutual Submission of Husband and Wife: Submission in marriage is a two-way affair. Husband submit to his wife by respecting her view, by denying himself to satisfy her and conceding to her when occasion demands. On the other hand, wife submit to her husband by accepting his authority and by obeying him. Mutual submission should not be by force. It should be in the fear of God.

Husband, your submission to your wife does not reduce your authority over her. Neither does it devalue you before her. Wife, your submission to your husband does not make you a slave to him. 

Key 5: Accepting Each Other: One of the keys to a successful marriage is mutual acceptance of both husband and wife. Husband and wife must see themselves as two sides of a coin. Their value and survival depend on this. Mutual acceptance helps husband and wife in respecting and honouring each other knowing fully well that whatever they do to each other affects both of them.

Key 6: Forgiving Each other: When husband and wife interact together as they ought to, mistakes and offences are inevitable. Thus forgiveness keeps them together to develop the love that can take their marriage to the blissful level. Realising that you’re not an angel and your spouse forgave you your past offences should prompt you to forgive your spouse.

Forgiving your spouse doesn’t make you cheap. Rather, it reveals your inner strength. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” (Mahatma Gandhi).

Key 7: Patience: The foundational virtue that husband and wife need to build a happy home is patience. Solomon says, ‘…the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit’ (Eccl. 7:8). It takes time for husband and wife to develop the virtues that they need to build a happy home. In actual fact, the first five years of the marriage is very critical. The sad thing is that some marriages break up before the husbands and wives blend with each other. “Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” (Mark Twain).

In the course of working together to build a prosperous family, husband and wife must bear with each other’s lapses, weaknesses, and irrational behaviours. “More marriages might survive if the partners realised that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” (Doug Larson). 

Are you tired of your marriage? Do you have the notion that your spouse cannot change again and you are planning to quit your marriage? Please be patient note this quote of John Fischer: “The success of marriage comes not in finding the "right" person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realise they married.”

Don’t Quit Your Marriage!!!