Marriage is a life relationship between a man and a woman with the purpose of building a stable and peaceful family. If the marriage is to be peaceful and successful, relationship between husband and wife must be cordial and loving. Satan is aware of the potentials of the love driven marriage, hence, he works in a subtle way to destabilise cordial relationship between the husband and wife.
The
greatest weapon that Satan uses in this regard is unforgiving
spirit. This spirit is a silent destroyer of marriage love. Unforgiving
spirit once allows in the mind against one’s spouse gives birth to bitterness,
wrath, anger, evil speaking and malice. This in turn destroys
intimacy between husband and wife.
In
most of couples seminar or counselling session that I have conducted, the
common question is: ‘How do you want
me to forgive a man/woman who has done such and such to me?’ Some
will be shedding tears when narrating the harrowing experience they have with
their spouses. My answer is always frank and practical: ‘Forgive your
spouse no matter the offence’. My counsel is based on certain premises.
First,
as long as we are still living in this body we are not angels. The fact
is that love does not cure our weaknesses. Hence, we are bound to offend
ourselves. Besides, one’s good intention is at times being misinterpreted by one’s
spouse. Through forgiveness such an issue is clarified and resolved.
Second,
the people who can offend themselves most are husbands and wives because they
are always together and they interact together on daily basis and in every
aspect of life. This makes them to see each other’s mistakes or
faults more often than in any other relationship which is casual.
Third,
marriage is a mystery of two people becoming one. There is no room for
separation. If in the cause of eating, your teeth bite your tongue
will you go and take pliers and remove the teeth? Or if your food is
put on the table and by accident one of your legs mistakenly hits the table and
the food spills on the floor, will you go and take cutlass and cut the leg away
because you are terribly hungry? All the above point to the fact that no matter
what our spouses might have done to us, we must forgive them. The worst
scenario is the case of extra-marital affairs. But then we must forgive our
spouses.
Fourth,
we often offend God and He forgives us. If God forgives us all our sins, we
must forgive our spouses all his or her sins no matter the offences and their
frequency.
This
is the Key that you need: Stop keeping the record of offences of your spouse.
This is against the principles of forgiveness. If you have such
records, you need to burn them because anytime you read them you are renewing
your wounds and you are making your heart to be more hostile and bitter towards
your spouse.
A lady came to me and narrated how her husband left her in a critical state in the hospital after losing the baby she had just delivered and ran away. She vowed that she would never forgive him and that she did not even want to see him. I counselled her to forgive the husband. In tears she assured me that she had forgiven him. I then prayed that God should touch the man wherever he might be and bring him back home. Within two weeks the man came back and apologised. He promised to become a responsible husband. The lady then came to my office with joy and shared her testimony with me. Your case too can be like that if you can forgive your run-away or wayward spouse.
Are
you saying, ‘Is it possible for man to
forgive and forget?’ My answer is, YES. If you really
forgive your spouse, remembering his/her offence will not disturb your love to
him/her. It will not affect your relationship with him/her and you
won’t refer to it when he/she offends you.
My
final counsel to you is that before you do anything, call your spouse and
settle the matters that have been affecting your relationship for quite a long
time. Then promise that henceforth you will be forgiving each other
as the offence arises.
You can contact me for further counsel through WhatsApp No:
08033070986
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