Nugget 3: Power of Collective Responsibility in Marriage

From the moment a man and a woman come together in marriage, they become one. This is mathematics of marriage: 1 + 1 = 1. When my son heard this, he retorted: Daddy you’re wrong. Of course, mathematically it is wrong. But in the institution of marriage, it is correct. Jesus Christ, the Author of marriage says in Matt. 19:5-6, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh”. A marriage can only grow to a blissful and prosperous level if the husband and wife see themselves as one.

The husband and wife that see themselves as one will plan and work together for the success of their marriage. There will be no division or monopoly in their interactions. If there is a mistake on the part of either the husband or wife, the two of them will accept collective responsibility for it. This will prompt them to work together and fix the problem that was caused by the mistake.

Have you been shifting blame on your spouse for something that went wrong in your marriage? Did you nag your spouse when the effect of the error was biting hard on you? Did you even withdraw to yourself and tell your spouse to face the consequences of his or her actions alone? Are you thinking of abandoning your spouse in the marriage because of the effect of his or her action? All these actions cannot help the situation but rather compound it.

Since the error was committed in the course of building your marriage, you should see it as a collective error and thus face the problems together. Collectively sit down and examine the error with the mind of fixing it. Two heads are better than one. Problem shared is problem solved. Remember it could be your turn to commit an error tomorrow. Don’t allow your marriage to remain in the wilderness for long by shifting blame on your spouse. You are a partner together in the project of establishing a successful marriage. Working together guarantees your success.

Marriage is like an aeroplane in a very high altitude with the husband, wife and their children as the only passengers. The husband and wife are co-pilots in the cockpit. If the husband makes any error and the plane is drifting, the wife will quickly take control to save their marriage plane from crashing. If it crashes, their entire family will be wiped off. Should you then fold your hand and see your marriage drifting because of the error of your spouse?

Always remember you are both responsible for the success or failure of your marriage. As you share the joy of good actions of your spouse, share the consequence of his or her mistakes and fixed the problem fast. People say, ‘United will stand, divided will fall’. Work together with your spouse and your marriage will stand. Enjoy your marriage.